Ok, I have been a narcissistic, selfish, self-centered, egotistic, egocentric, and all other self-something and ego-something a$$h0le the past week or two. (Unfortunately though, I’d probably be one again in another couple of weeks and at least 1 whole week a month.)
Anyway, now that I have overcome that pain-and-hormone-induced mental and emotional affliction, and the walls I have unwittingly built around me now lay crumpled around my feet, with renewed eyes, I see what has been happening around me more clearly.
I am not the only one who is going through a difficult time, or has problems, or is hurting. But even though I was aware of this before, it has always been “I am hurting because someone I know is hurting“, or “I am sad because someone I know is going through a tough time“. It is not always about me. I shouldn’t be the one fishing for sympathy when it isn’t me whose heart is broken, or whose son is on the operating table. But now that I know better, I want to be more actively involved in their struggles, rather than making the struggles my own and reaping the empathy.
I want to be responsible in helping them and not just feel their pain because a sturdy, strong hand can do more than a sympathetic word could. Yes, that’s what I will do.
front: cousin Teo
back: cousin Iggy
By Angel and Chaos
Mommy has been worried lately. We know she is. She hides it, pretending that everything is ok. She’s always keeping herself busy so she wouldn’t have time to think. She keeps coming home with new stuff. (Yeah, we know of her sickness because she tells us that her only cure is retail therapy where after her therapy she comes home with bags of new clothes or books or whatever. We are just wondering why our vet doesn’t give us new things when we go visit for therapy.)
Anyway, she’s been worried about our cousin Teo, he is Mommy’s baby sister’s little boy. Mommy said that cousin Teo had to undergo surgery yesterday which is why Mommy was preoccupied and always holding her cellphone. We would lick her face and rest our heads on her lap, but when she looks at us, she has this blank gaze, like she doesn’t really see us.
This morning, Mommy told us that the surgery was finished and that baby Teo was ok. We know that she misses them, specially during times like this, we know that she sometimes wish we were all in the Philippines where we can comfort each other with belly rubs and wet kisses.
my favorite miniature rose
The last time I saw her was when we celebrated her 90th birthday back in 2010. Now she’s 92.
Our dear Rosie, in spite and despite everything, you are still our matriarch and we love you. Brought our father into this world who in turn gave life to us. In my mind, you will always be the poised, distinguished and strong lady I always remembered you to be. And I hope you’d still be there when I come home to celebrate another birthday with you.
These are videos of my nephews when they were still little. I can’t help but smile watching them again, but I also feel that gaping hole in my heart getting bigger as I long to be with them again before they grow too old for me to hug and kiss them the way I did when they were younger.
This is Gabby singing “Boom tarat tarat” (a novelty song in the Philippines popularized by a local TV host)
Here’s big brother Rafael with his version of “Boom tarat tarat”
This is both of them singing Spongebob Square pants
Because technically we are still Filipinos, and because it’s now January 25 in the Philippines, I’m posting this now to be able to greet you along with all our Filipino family and friends…
The kiddies just wanted to be the first to greet you…
Happy Birthday from Me!!