Night, once again, has fallen.
Time stood still when I heard the words “She’s Gone…”
I tried to be strong, nonchalantly asking for the details.
I thought I could hold back the tears, thinking she’s now in a happier place,
Her suffering has ended and she is at peace…
But how can you tell your heart not to weep for someone you hold dear?
How do you steel your hands from shaking wishing you could have held her one last time?
How do you stop yourself from being selfish and wished we could have had more time?
How do you bid someone farewell forever?
Tita Oh, I know you wouldn’t like that we feel sad, but let us at least miss you a bit…
Days have passed,
The weeks just flying by,
But this feeling of unease
Seem to be getting stronger.
First I thought I dread the date
when a year will be added to my age…
But that day came and went,
Still couldn’t shake the apprehension.
Then I thought it was just that time of the month,
PMSing has always been an emotional culprit
For most of my mood swings anyway…
Well, I guess it wasn’t the cause of this unknown feeling.
Work has suffered,
Had no drive to do anything.
Was just being reactive
Doing what needs immediate action.
Then the other night,
My partner told me something
That made my heart leap and sink all at the same time…
My feet went cold,
My ears felt hot.
Dizzy with the speed of things,
I wanted to throw up.
This is it!
This is where all my angst is coming from!
This feeling of fear and panic and agitation,
Coupled by excitement, and thrill and adventure!
No, not yet…
It’s too soon
I’m not prepared
Physically and emotionally
So much to do,
Stuff to pack,
People to talk to…
Can’t say goodbye yet…