Confessions of a Pessimist…

The usual maxim is “Hope for the best, expect nothing, but prepare for the worst“. A really positive way of dealing with disappointments.

Well, I think my mind got it all mixed up coz I follow the adage “Aim for the best, expect the worst“! Which has turned me into an overbearing, cynical, paranoid Bitch!

Not really something I am proud of, but it’s my own negative way of dealing with my disillusionments.

When things seem to be going smoothly, at the back of my head I am always waiting for that big bump that would cause everything to tumble over and shatter on the floor.

So imagine what I am going through while waiting for our Visas to arrive… I am a nervous wreck!!

Oh My Gosh, what if it doesn’t come? What if I didn’t get approved and I am just assuming? What if I don’t get to leave, after having resigned already and informed my clients that I’m leaving?

I shouldn’t be too negative… “you attract what you think”… so I should be optimistic to attract positivity…

I’m trying…


Office break

Being the only “gay girl” in the office, i am often the butt of most of their lesbian jokes.

Not that I’m complaining, in fact, i like the way they acknowledge me as different from the others.
That despite my sexual orientation, they love (?) and respect (?) me for who I am. They are my reason for having stayed with the company for more than 6 years.

I will surely miss the office banters; the jeers and eyebrow raising comments; the cam whoring and birthday surprises; the luncheon conferences; the overtime sentiments; the 24 hour non stop commercial shoots; even the boardroom firing range moments.

But most of all, I will miss being their “favorite GAY person”…

First time…

Nakaraos na din. We are virgins no more!

As first time voters, we woke up at 6am to make our way to the precinct. Well, actually to LOOK for our precinct. The ever reliable Comelec online precinct finder was out of order so we had to physically look for it. Good thing we found our names in the first one we went to.

We got there at 7am but finished at 9am. Disappointing that despite the automation of the ballots, the process was still hellishly 3rd world. But who are we to judge? This being our first time, we have no point of comparison. Besides, we still finished early, before the unbearable afternoon sun.

Gayl was overly excited at the fact that we experienced this first together. Good thing too coz despite the heat and the long lines, her optimism kind of rubbed off on pessimist ole me. 🙂

Memory Soup

My mind is like an alphabet soup.
But instead of just letters,
I have a bowl of thoughts in my head…

Of people in my life,
Whether loved or not liked
Of places that I’ve been
Or even those I haven’t seen.
Of events I’ve attended,
And the staff I’ve befriended.
Of my proud achievements
Even my disappointments.
Of laughter and tears
Of courage and fears.

All part of my Memory Soup.

and her random ramblings…

%d bloggers like this: