Old Blogs: Another “Thank you” post

More than once I have been asked, if I were to live my life over, go through all the those bumps and stumbles, pains and hurts, trips and falls one more time, what part would I skip. And every time I would give the same answer – NONE!

Yes, I have gone through a lot,
But with every experience I learned…
with every pain I learned to accept what is thrown at me;
with every hurt I learned to be strong for myself more than for anyone else;
with every tear I learned to value and treasure each smile and each laughter;
with every smile I learned to appreciate every moment spent with loved ones;
with every embrace I learned to recognize my own fragility;
and with every learning I came to be who I am now…

I am who I am, from the way I act and react to the way I think and feel, aged and matured because of experience more than the years.

And I have all of you to thank…
you who have been part of my past…
you who have inflicted me with pain, sorrow, despair, misery…
you who have given me happiness, joy, excitement, pleasure…
you who have taught me to be strong, to fight, to concede, to yield…
you whom I have loved, served, hurt, ignored…

I have learned my life lessons from all of you, and I will never have it any other way.
So, thank you.

Fall…

stifled and bound,
yearning for respite
as i search for some answers.

 

forsaken and alone,
i helplessly witness
reason slipping from my fingers

 

confused and dejected,
i fumble blindly
trying to make sense of it all.

 

withdrawn and resigned,
i let go of my grip
and braced myself for the fall.

 

Photo acknowledgement nighthawk101

Old Blogs: Thank you for making me stronger

Thank you

For everything that you’ve done for me

Thank you

For teaching me to be independent

Learned to do things on my own

Learned to go places by myself

Learned to wake up in the middle of the night without you beside me

Learned to go to bed alone without you there to talk to

Learned to sleep by myself not looking for a warm body to hug

Thank you

For teaching me to be strong

Learned to fend for myself

Learned to defend myself

Learned to not care about what others would think about me

Learned to hold my head high despite the tears

Learned to create a life for myself since didn’t feel I was part of yours

Thank you

For teaching me to be a fighter

Learned to fight the urge to cry

Learned to fight away the tears

Learned to fight the longing I feel for you

Learned to fight the loneliness of not being with you

Learned to fight the yearning of being your girl again

Thank you

Strength is learning how to see things from a different perspective, no matter how hard.

**Posted back in 2008 in Multiply

Of heartaches and longing…

Please excuse my sappy posts for the next couple of days, I’m still in Birthday-Blues mode.

 

Old Blog: Love… Hurt… Happiness?

Here’s another old “Emo” blog I wrote years ago…

Love… Hurt… Happiness?

doesn’t matter when or where or how you find love, if it comes, it comes.
sometimes you have to work on it, sometimes totally unexpected, but the end result is always that nice warm feeling you get just being or seeing or talking with that person of interest.

but with love comes hurt… rather pessimistic and dark, i know… but having gone through too many hurts makes you wary of everything.
you tend to think too much and expect the worse in order to prepare yourself for that big OUCH. you try to protect yourself from the pain that sometimes you forget you might be hurting the other person too.
instead of enjoying the moments you get to spend, you’re busy over analyzing yourself and the situation… should i say yes? will she hurt me in the end? will this end up in a fight?
i know it shouldn’t be that way, but sometimes the trauma that you get from bad experiences dims the brightest of characters…
hope there’s a cure because i do want to be happy too.

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. ~M. Kathleen Casey

I still smile when I read these entries. I sound like a love/relationship hungry teenager (when I was actually in my 30’s when I wrote this). Well, maturity doesn’t always come with age…